Most everyone says that the first year of marriage is always the hardest. That being the case as Justin and I come to a close on our first year, we’d like to share some of the things we’ve learned. We hope this will help others as they go about their first year of marriage. Perhaps even help couples who have been married much longer than us. Let me start off by saying we, by no means, think we’re experts. We’d just like to share a few things we’ve learned this year.
Now both Justin and I think that we’ve had a really good first year of marriage. We are blessed enough to not have gone through any major issues. This is partly because we were completely honest with each other before we got married. We knew everything about each other’s past before we walked down the aisle and promised our lives to each other. This is important in order to start off your marriage the right way. Again, we don’t think we’re experts so if you have done things differently, that is fine! We only hope to share what we have experienced.
Tip 1: Communicate!
Justin is THE BEST at communicating. I tend to try and internalize things which 1.) is not healthy, 2.) only causes more problems down the road. Thankfully, I am blessed enough to have Justin who forces me to talk things out. This is not always fun but it is necessary. If you don’t talk to your spouse, they will not know what is going on with you. Ladies, men do NOT get hints. No matter how obvious they are to us. Your husband, will not get your hint. You need to be 100% clear on what you want. This means, just tell him. Don’t beat around the bush. Just tell him exactly what you want. This will save you a lot of trouble. Trust me.
I started off our marriage by trying to hint at things and that only made me mad. Thankfully, Justin saw I was mad and made me talk about it. He talked with me until I finally got down to what the issue was. He apologized for not getting my hint and asked me to just tell him next time. I want to be honest and tell you that going through that exercise once did not solve my lack of communication. We went through this a few times before I gave up on hints.
Tip 2: Compromise!
Compromise goes along with communication. In order to know what you may need to compromise on, you need to communicate. One thing to remember is that you both have wants and expectations. I can guarantee you that your wants and expectations will not always match up with your spouse’s. Here is an example for you. I am a fairly outgoing person, I enjoy socializing. Justin is extremely introverted, he gets ill just thinking about socializing. This means socializing is something we have to compromise on. We don’t socialize as much as I would on my own, but we do socialize more than Justin would on his own.
It’s no secret that I hope to socialize more in the future as we work on Justin’s social anxiety. Justin hopes to social less in the future in hopes that my need to socialize diminishes. I love having a husband that truly only needs me and God in his life. Much to Justin’s dismay, I do need some level of outside interaction. This is an area that we will most likely always have a compromise in. And you know what? That is okay. We both understand the needs, wants, and expectations the other has. That is what is important. As long as we know this, we can do what is needed in order to be the spouse the other needs us to be.
Tip 3: Church!
As Christians, we think the church is essential to living a good life. Whether that life is single or married. Romans 3:10 says “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:”. If no one is righteous, how can we expect to treat each other with dignity and respect? I mean, the word righteous literally means “(of a person or conduct) morally right or justifiable; virtuous.” If we are not those things ourselves, how can we expect our spouse to be those things? If we can’t trust our spouse to be morally right, justifiable, or virtuous, how can we trust them? If you can’t trust your spouse, how can you have a happy marriage?
The Bible teaches us the things we need to know in order to live the best we can. I’m not saying that you can’t be a good person and not go to church. I am saying though that I believe going to church is essential to being the person God has called you to be. If you aren’t the person that God called you to be, how can you be the spouse your spouse needs you to be? The Bible teaches us that we are to love one another like God loves us. John 13:34 says “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” Romans 10:14 “How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?” If we don’t have a preacher in our life to lead us, how can we believe in God’s word? How can we love one another as God loves us if we don’t know God’s word?
Thank you so much for reading!
We hope these tips help you! If you have any tips for us, we would love to hear them! If you enjoyed this, be sure to share it! We are on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest! Also, we have a Youtube channel with lots of great content! Click here to check it out! For more articles about God’s love for you, check out this post! Be sure to check it out! Thank you again for reading and God Bless!
